I've recently discovered a new love for reading. New because it has been almost 12 years since I've actually picked up a book. I've been busy. At least that's what I like to say. Since last fall when my friend, Jacque, gave me a book to read I've been busy buying books and adding to my personal collection. I've been buying a lot of books, which is why my husband keeps nagging me about getting a library card. I don't want a library card. I want to own my books! They're relatively inexpensive compared to his golf clubs and his gun collection. My purses, shoes and book purchases would never equal the amount of money he spends on his two favorite hobbies each year. I'm not getting a library card. At least not yet. Hopefully, never!
Anyway, selfishness is my question today and it has to do with the books that I'm starting to become buried in. I really never cared about lending my books to others until just recently. I had a friend read a copy of a book by my most favorite author (Andrew Grant) and then when he was finished I sent it on to another friend at work. I noticed upon its return that the first borrower didn't hold my book the way I do and now it feels worn. I'm devastated. I'm currently in the middle of the Reacher Novels and people are starting to ask when they can begin the books. I'm not wanting to share them at this point for fear that Reacher will be worn out when he returns to me. The thought sends me into a panic. That's when I looked up the definition to see if I'm really being as selfish as I think I am.
SELFISH: (1) looking after own desires; concerned with your own interests, needs, and wishes while ignoring those of others-(2) demonstrating selfishness: showing that personal needs and wishes are thought to be more important than those of other people.
I read the definition and it doesn't read like I thought it would. In fact, I really think I can rationalize not sharing my books at all. Maybe reserving them only for the closest people in my life. Which would be ME and my closest friends at work and people in my neighborhood. It would include friends like Vicki, who loaned me all of her Anne Rice novels. It would be hardly fair for me not to return the favor especially since I've done nothing but talk about Reacher for the last three weeks. And it would include friends like Adrienne, since I never attended the book club she started after I promised her I would participate. She deserves to read the books and I really think she'd like Reacher. I like Reacher. It's possible she might like him as much as me. But she won't know if I don't let her borrow my books. It would also include Jacque. It was Jacque that helped me rediscover my love for reading by loaning me the BDB series so clearly I would need to loan her a series that I believe would fall into the BDB category. And if you haven't guessed it; I believe Reacher to be Brotherhood worthy. I suppose I could also make an exception for those that don't have a library card. It would be very hypocritical of me to tell them to get one when I'm not willing to get one myself. See, I'm really not that selfish after all.