Chapter 11
1917
The winter had finally vacated and spring was moving
in. The weather was inconsistent from
day to day but there was plenty of rain to urge on the new growth of the
season.
It was late and Cy had already gone to bed. He was exhausted
after returning from his last run. Mary
sat on the rocker by the parlor stove, holding Ivy and listening to her sweet
little sleeping baby noises. Her
thoughts darted back and forth from the argument she’d just had with Cy to what
was she going to make for breakfast to the most recent goings-on in town. Oh, yes, yes, yes…she realized she forgot to
tell Cy about the Hiblers. She must tell
him over breakfast.
Two of the Hiblers’ children had died after a short illness
and the general rumors seemed to be that they had passed from pneumonia, but
there were a few of the older folks around who had succumbed to consumption
recently, so that was also a possibility. People were too afraid to pay them a call,
because consumption required that the victims be quarantined due to how easily
it was passed and since no one was quite sure yet what the source was, they
simply stayed to themselves.
Mary had tried to tell Cy about the news he’d missed out on
when he came home, but he was uninterested and left to go see his parents and
have supper with them. He begrudgingly
asked Mary to come with him, but she declined; said that Ivy had been under the
weather.
When Cy returned, Ivy was fussing. Partly because Mary had forgotten to feed her
because she’d been so set on standing by the front window and watching for Cy
to come home. She watched out the
window, held Ivy and rocked from side to side, shifting her weight in time to
the lullaby that she was absentmindedly humming. She wasn’t even sure what the song was,
exactly, but when she realized it may have been the tune that Mother Anders was
trying to teach her, she quickly switched to another tune.
When Cy came into sight, she quickly ran to the kitchen to
busy herself and started feeding Ivy, although it wasn’t soon enough to quiet
the child before he came through the door.
“Oh, God, Mary. Why
is she fussing again? Can’t a man come
home to some peace and quiet?”
“She was hungry so I had to feed her…again,” she lied. “I’m sure she’ll settle down for a
while. Maybe you could hold her. I’m sure that would quiet her down.”
“I don’t know nothin’ about babies and I don’t want to. That’s your job.”
“But she’s your daughter.
And I’m your wife. We both need
you.”
“I’m too tired for people to need me. You’re the one who’s supposed to be taking
care of settin’ up housekeeping, not
me. I thought wives were supposed to
take care of their husbands. This is not
what I signed up for!”
Mary stopped and took a few deep breaths, shook her head
back and forth.
“What… do you mean?”
“What do you think, Mary?
This is not what I pictured my life like. A wife and baby… everybody depending on
me. I’ve given up everything I’d dreamed
of and it’s tiresome knowing that everything falls on my shoulders. I had to go straight from school into being a
husband and a father. Maybe I could’ve
handled being married… I was ready to make the best of it ‘cuz I figured I’d at
least get some time to have my needs taken care of.”
“Have your needs taken care of? What does that mean?”
“Do I have to spell it out for you?” His voice was escalating.
“Well, yes. I guess
you do, because I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You… you have never loved me like a wife should. A man’s got needs and his needs are the most
important thing and you had to go and get knocked up so fast and as soon as
that happened, all you could talk about was that baby. Everyone knows that women want babies. Well… you got what you want, but I never got
what I wanted.”
“Are you serious?”
“I don’t look like I’m joking, do I?” He put his hands on his hips, exhaled sharply
and looked towards the bedroom.
Ivy was starting to cry as the argument became more
desperate and both Cy and Mary kept talking louder to make sure the other could
hear them above the crying.
“Cy, this isn’t fair!
You never even said anything to me about this! Is that all you want? Tell me what you want.”
“Honestly, Mary, there’s nothing you can do any more. It’s gone past the point of no return. If I’d known how suffocating a family was, I
would’ve gotten with a lot more girls before you came along.”
Mary had started to cry now and she walked past Cy into the
bedroom to put Ivy down. She turned to
face him.“What do you want from me?
Who do you want me to be? I can
be whoever you want me to be."
“It’s just too late, Mary.
I’m moving on and the next time I leave on a run, I’m going to stay in Denver and settle
down. I’ll send you money and my parents
will help. I just can’t do this
anymore.”
“You have no choice, Cy!
We are your family!”
Mary was shrieking now and Ivy was screaming.
“Get that baby out of there!
I’m going to bed!”
“You can’t just cast us off like dirty laundry! I’ll change!
I promise! I’ll make sure Ivy
learns to be quiet and I’ll make sure everything is peaceful for you when you
get home! I promise I can change things!”
Cy stopped and regrouped emotionally before he calmly
responded.
“It’s too late for that, Mary. There’s someone else.”
Mary stopped crying and stared at him. Her head trembled and created waves down the
length of her body. Could he be serious?
Moments ticked by.
The clock on the mantle ticked and tocked and ticked and tocked. She turned back towards the bed, picked Ivy
up and began swaying back and forth.
“You just need some sleep.
You’ll feel differently in the morning.”
“Mary, I won’t. I’ve
had a lot of time to think and it’s what I want.”
“We’ll talk in the morning.
You sleep late and when you get up, I’ll make you a nice hot breakfast.”
“God, Mary… I don’t want breakfast.”
She walked past him and out to the rocking chair by the
parlor stove. As she started to rock,
Ivy began to calm down.
“I’ve already told my parents.”
“We’ll talk in the morning.
You get some sleep and I’ll make sure Ivy doesn’t bother you.”
She smiled awkwardly and wiped tears from her face while
balancing Ivy in one arm.
Cy sighed slowly and deeply.
Ran his fingers through his hair.
Went into the bedroom and clicked the latch behind him.
Mary caught herself humming that stupid tune of Mother Anders’
again. She rested her head back against
the chair and made up her own song… one that she was sure would work on Ivy and
when she showed Cy how well it worked, he would be pleased.
“Sweet
baby, sleep. Sweet baby, sleep.
Close
you eyes. Morning is nigh.
Sweet
baby, sleep. Sweet baby, sleep.
Mama
will hold you ‘til morning sky’s blue.
Sweet
baby, sleep. Sweet baby, sleep.
Nothing
to fear. Mama is here.
Sweet
baby, sleep. Sweet baby, sleep.
L’il
baby Jesus, he looooves us.”
Sweet baby, sleep. Sweet baby, sleep.
Stars and moonlight, shine so
bright.
Sweet baby, sleep. Sweet baby, sleep.
Heaven will bless you and protect
you, too.”
3 comments:
OMG! I think I know where this is going, Didn't see that one coming!
Best story ever!
So sad... Cy is cruel man. Great story, Ellie.
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